dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
