My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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