when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
