so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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