I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
