They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Randomize
