dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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