i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
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In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
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I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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