We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
