I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
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