In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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