What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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