Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
i think i just lost a toe
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