fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
