wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Never underestimate the power of titties
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
