margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize