yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize