we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
