don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
