after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
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She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
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Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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