Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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