And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
