In the future we'll all be gay
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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