pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
