Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
