I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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