I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
You work out of a Hotel?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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