It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
