hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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