this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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