I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize
