Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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