Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
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