Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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