He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
