I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
