Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
he fucked my hip out of place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.