I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
