This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
