Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
