i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
