I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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