Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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