every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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