love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
This is my gift to your gina
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
