How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
