Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
