Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
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Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
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Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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