I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
