Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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