Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
