I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
