Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize