thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I will pee on everything he values.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.