I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
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thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
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I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.