That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
my sisters under your porch take her home
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
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