ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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