so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize