Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
she pinky promised me she was 18
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
